a peek through;

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

uncertainty.

report book on friday,that means another 2 plus days to endure all this mixed feelings of anxiety uncertainty.reflection,no a reality check is better.we realised then Alevels is no mean feat.scraping through is not good enough.but somehow thats what all of us are just aiming for now;promotion.thats said,ive not bawled my eyes out crying ending with puffy
cheeks and whatnot.not because im proud of my results,trust me its not even near that ah.but im just very very grateful i got to scrape my papers.though this is not the same for overall,yes?
a whole new meaning to teachers,they make you have sleepless nights and anxiety attacks just to play this guessing game for a few mre days.baaahs.

uncertainty.

a friend i have.to those who knows im referring to,i know you know so shhhh.firstly,it anoyying enough when you demoralise yourself.you know youre not untalented.no one is born that way.its just that living in denial does not help okay.seeing you pulling a facade is ironic enough.we know ur hurt,dissappointed yet u still chose to be adamant looking strong and all.maybe you dnt want
us to worry but what are friends for then?and when you,re in need of help you dont show it,we cant help you.and then the cycle of''no one cares for me,im untalented,stupid and lazy''.its infuriating really.when we,re trying hard to make you at least feel the teeny bit hopeful yet ur being yourself down.when u cant beat em,join em.and i say all the best,friend.i reaaalllly hope youll search deep down inside and then you might realise there are people who do care for you.please wake up and realise,we might part sooner than you think.learn to love yourself cos we believe in you.

uncertainty.

I do not know where this stands.theres more than what the status meets the eye.i dont understnad why you have to keep some stuffs from me.i cant help but review our relationship.am i that untrustworthy enough to be told that?i dont know where ive gone wrong or isit just that we are drifting apart.yes,we.be it just the two of us maybe everyone.im tired of being the one doing all the calling and the asking about all the happenings.maybe its time ill let you have a stand in these relationships,see how far you want it to go.or isit just me hoping itll last a loong time.maybe it was easy in the past but with everyone expecting someone to do it.it get exhausting.so maybe its time to reflect and think when have you ever be the first one to sms or give a call to someone close or once close to or cousin etc?.be it just to ask whats been happening or how its been going?if a call is too long to make id say a 5cent 2 seconds text will do.it wont hurt to be the one making the first move,letting the other party know you still do care.isit too late to salvage the friendship?id say its never too late to start now.

this post is long and draggy and emo-y enough for all the ongoing drama.
till friday,
take care everyone.

sneezed in your face at 9:33 PM